by Joyce Blades, Springfield, Missouri Group
All my life things have come late to me. According to my day, I was an older bride, an older mother and since in my 64th year, I’m still not a grandmother, looks like that will be late too. So, too, am I late to wisdom. The Lord doles it out in small amounts. He probably realized what a monster would be created if He gave me that gift of the Holy Spirit unbridled. I have a relentless need to share any newly discovered truth, to the despair of my children, the testing of friends and the shaking heads of teachers who watched me daydream as they taught those same truths. The latest awakening is the word BEING. I invite you to join me in thinking of BEING in two ways: BEING in the present tense and BEING as if.
One evening last year, I was reading St. Francis de Sales and the words human being leapt off the pages. We all know we are human beings. That’s the familiar noun usage meaning a person who exists. But that evening the words separated and I saw being as a verb in the present tense. Human Being. You are a human being. I am a human being. We are humans being, right now, right here in this precious moment. We are humans being present to the action at hand. We breathe, we love, we sorrow, we work, we pray, we exist in the present active tense. We are alive with being human and all that implies and we are Spirit made in the image and likeness of our Creator.
However, this being of ours is very fleeting. Even as I speak, the words of a few seconds ago are in the past. What we choose to do or fail to do is quickly over but the choice has either added to the fullness of our being or it has lessened the graces God wishes us to have. When we see our being in that context, we see that, we are called to be present to the time, to the place, to the state, to the word and to the people God has ordained for us since our conception. What power, what grace each moment of our being holds. How many of us live fully in the precious moment, loving and giving as we have been created to do? Ask this, “Will my biggest failure at the end be to have never developed the kind, loving, generous person I know myself to be?” Think of the power of God in this room if each kept our being focused on God’s perfect plan for each of our lives.
Yes, the “has been” of the past is important because it has given us the good and bad luggage we carry and yes, the “will be” of the future is important because it’s unknown and exciting, but in reality, we have only the present in which we can fully co-operate with the graces our Father sends. Only at this moment can we give Him honor and glory above all things. St. Francis said, “We cannot be real human beings without this inclination to love God above all things, nor true Christians without following this inclination.”
It is hard to stay being in the present not only do the events of the day, our duties, TV and the world call us but every one of us passes through time of trouble, danger and sometimes real tragedy. St. Francis guides us with consolation when he tells us, “We are given being by God who also gives life, giving spirit by His inspiration… “During this changeable life we must persevere with steady and imperturbable evenness of spirit and although everything may change around us, we must keep our soul constantly turned to God and our will ever attuned to His good pleasure.”
Let’s ask ourselves about being in the present tense:
- Is my purpose for being, why I was born now, here, as I am to reverence, praise and serve God, in whose image I have been created?
- Have I let the busy things I do become like pagan idols to which I have sacrificed by being?
- Am I being open, prepared and accessible to receiving God in the form of the Holy Spirit and His inclinations?
- Is my world so full with static that I fail to hear his voice?
- Am I being fully alive and present to my family, my friends, my neighbors, my brothers and sisters in Christ?
- Do I give only a part of myself, the part that is always looking beyond them for the next person, the next idea, the next task, the next more satisfying thing?
- Have I co-operated with the graces, the education, the love, the talents God has given me?
- Am I growing old treating myself to the things I want because I have forgotten that I am made for God and service of neighbor?
- Do I remember that what I do every day should contribute to giving my life meaning?
- If it doesn’t, why am I doing it?
- Do I live each moment as if it were my last?
- As if what I am doing right now defines my contribution as a human being?
Being “As If'” This aspect of being could also be called “whistling in the dark” as in the modem vernacular “fake it ’til you make it.”
Kay Charles and I went to a Jesuit retreat in the fall of 2000 during which we were invited to make a “retreat election.” This is a term in the Introduction to the Devout Life. St. Francis and St. Ignatius believed that we are not environmental accidents; that there is meaning to each life; that there is the possibility for goodness and happiness in each human life. They believed that to find goodness and happiness we must use everything in our means to love God. We give Him reverence, praise and honor and seek His will indirectly by the way we treat His people. They also taught that we can elect who we will be. BEING AS IF starts with the realization that God has a perfect plan for each life. It is our work to discover that perfect plan by joining our will to His. He also allows us to join in His creation by making ourselves become. We have a responsibility to finish creating ourselves.
God gave us each special talents and traits that are very individual to our being. He also gave us an innate desire to want to be a person with these gifts fully realized. Keep in mind that the ideal person you want to be is the real you God created. Once we bring God into our lives we can change an attitude, a failure or a defect. We cannot limit our prayer too much, we must pray for the perfection of our being. Remember, we can elevate anything to make it sacred with God’s help. He expects us to grow, to become, to expand our being.
St. Francis gives us this guide to Being As If-
- Evaluate the ways we have or have not made use of our abilities, gifts, talents.
- Realize that there are consequences to not developing our gifts. We will be less than we are meant to be, less than our best selves if we do not continue to develop.
- Know that all sin, by omission as well as commission, prevents us from being a reflection of Jesus.
- Ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be?” What is missing in my life? What keeps me from being me? Where am I going? What will I become?
- Realize that life is short and uncertain but we are never too late nor too old nor too ourselves to START ANEW and become another Christ in the modern world. It is never too late to love, to change, to grow, to become.
- Examine our lives and find our worse fault. My personal fault is fearful anxiety. When I was child, we lived on a farm 20 miles from the nearest town. In those days that was a long distance, so I lived with my grandparents during the school week. On Friday my dad was to pick me up for the weekend at home. My family was a little unpredictable so sometimes he would come for me, sometimes he wouldn’t sometimes it would be Saturday, sometimes he wouldn’t come at all. Sometimes I felt guilty because I wanted to stay and play with friends, all this made me feel I didn’t belong anywhere so I developed the trait of fearful anxiety. It is unreasonable. I have very little judgment about the difference between real fear, perceived fear, small fear, large fear. I share this only to give an example of how Being As If works.
- Now the election comes in. Through prayer and inspiration we choose the virtue opposite our fault and we act as if we already have that virtue or gift. We make it an active trait which will eventually replace the fault. We offer honor and glory to God by this actualization of our elected virtue. We give it meaning. We choose this virtue to be ours. It requires patience and self-control. It isn’t easy. We have to work at it.
I choose courage for my Being As If. I’m sorry I can’t share some of the more personal gifts of courage God has given me to replace my anxiety but one I can share is this: When my husband died 8 months ago, I knew I would have a difficult time alone at night. When he went out on a medical call, I would get up and watch TV because I was afraid to be alone. My daughter stayed with me for 2 weeks after his death, and I slept peacefully. One of the things people ask after a death is “Are you able to sleep?” I was able to answer Yes, and every time I said I am not afraid and I sleep well, my will to do so became stronger. After Anne left I truly was unafraid. It works. God has been generous with courage. Slowly, one thing at a time I am praying myself out of rampant anxiety. I have a long way to go but God is good and I’m practicing being as if I were courageous.
Do not tolerate mediocrity in yourself. Don’t settle for your second best self, nothing can stop you if God wills a virtue for you. BEING IN CHRIST, that will get us where we need to go. God Bless.
Reprinted from the May-June 2001 Salesian Bond.
Other reflections by Joyce:
The Sword and the Flame pp. 26-28, The Salesian Bond, July-August 2009
In Time of Suffering, by Joyce Blades, Summer 2014
